pocketofblossoms: christmas 2014

in my mind, i had a pinterest-perfect christmas blog post planned. 
complete with: yummy food, cute cousins, a swoon-worthy christmas outfit, and adorable decor.

christmas was different this year for my family. in a couple weeks, i'll be able to post an explanation as to why it was different. but, for right now, i can't say the ultimate reason why.

when i say christmas was different i mean...

i wanted it to be over from the moment i woke up,
i didn't want to open my presents,
i bawled all morning long,
i didn't feel like taking any pictures,
and
it didn't feel like christmas.

this post might be a little pointless because i can't explain to you why this happened, but its just therapeutic for me. 

i also want to say that although christmas wasn't quite christmas this year, i still have a lot to be grateful for. my mom and i were talking about other people we know that have it so much harder than we did this time of year.

although it was a rough christmas, i wouldn't trade my trials for anyone else's. there is always someone who has it worse than i do. 

always.

i have so much to be thankful for. and i am thankful.

i am thankful for...
a father in heaven who watches over his children,
a savior who knows my heartache,
a family that loves me, 
a comfortable home,
food on the table,
my education, 
and
a fiancé who is my best friend.

my family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all went to a soup kitchen the day after christmas. we handed out "blessing bags" to those who were walking in to get a meal. the bag had some hygiene items and a mcdonald's gift card. 

i didn't really think these people would appreciate the bags. i don't know that i would appreciate a mcdonalds gift card.

but their eyes lit up. they were so grateful. 

christmas was not fun for me. it didn't feel like christmas. i was really sad.
but i'm grateful for all that i have.
there are so many who have so little. 

i'm grateful for the experiences heavenly father blessed me with,
so that i can see just how much i have to be thankful for.

stay tuned for next year's pinterest-perfect christmas post!
jokes jokes jokes jokes jokes :)
to be continued