Jun 28, 2015

Why I got Married at 20


I met Isaac on January 6, 2014 in my chemistry class at BYU. He sat next to me on the first day of class and we whispered back and forth about how scared we were of chemistry. I specifically remember leaving that class with the feeling that isaac was special. Not only that he was special, but that he was going to be special to me. The feeling wasn't overwhelming and it wasn't some crazy "ah-ha" moment where i thought "gee…this guy is my future husband!" But i knew he was going to be special to me. Looking back, of course, I realize that I had this feeling because there was an instant connection, an instant trust.

Isaac and I continued to hang out every day, which then turned into dates every weekend (this one took a little more time because Isaac was scared to ask me on a date. Which is why he asked me to the library on a friday night…yeah, he'll never hear the end of that one), which turned into dating exclusively, then falling in love. Dating Isaac is the most fun I've had in my entire life. I smiled so much sometimes my cheeks would hurt (it's true people, that really happens…I'm a witness). I didn't fall in love all at once, it didn't hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell in love with Isaac gradually, each and every day.

I loved the way he addressed strangers by ma'am and sir.
I loved that he ran up a huge hill to campus to walk me home from class at 10 pm.
I loved that he wasn't afraid to do sweet things for me in front of his friends. 
I loved that he got me Reese's (he knew the way to my heart).
I loved that he read his scriptures every day and prayed over every meal.
I loved that he liked to go to the gym with me.
I loved that he planned out two date nights out together every weekend, Friday and Saturday.
I loved that he could make me smile even when I was having the worst day.

I don't list these things to brag or to try to make anyone feel like I am above them. Because I certainly am not. I'm listing these things to show that I fell in love with every detail about Isaac, slowly but surely. It was a fairytale for me, but it wasn't some Disney fairytale where the prince and the princess look at each other and fall madly in love. 

Deciding that I wanted to marry Isaac was gradual as well. as I fell more and more in love with him, the more I could see a future together. I prayed about it. I read countless speeches by the leaders of the church about marriage and choosing an eternal companion. I knew I loved him. I knew I never wanted to leave him. I never wanted to be without him.

In my search to know if I should marry Isaac I came across this quote by President Gordon B. Hinckley, "…what really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be…immensely happy."

I came to realize that when I was with Isaac, I felt good about our relationship and I felt good about myself. I never doubted his love, his loyalty, his admiration. That's how I knew he was the one. I just felt good. Great, even. Happier than I had ever been.

Yeah, Kiely, that's all great and dandy that Isaac is the one for you, but why not just wait until after college when you both have graduated, traveled, and you have a steady income?

I'm going to graduate. I'm married, but receiving a college degree is not a question for me.

As for a steady income, now that's a tough one. We're going to be so poor it's almost comical. Actually we do laugh about it sometimes! Undoubtedly, we will barely make enough to pay rent and eat.

I love this story Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once recalled when he and his wife were newlyweds:

"I remember on one of those beautiful summer evenings walking up from our apartment on Third North and First East to the brow of the hill where the Maeser Building so majestically stands. Pat and I were arm in arm and very much in love, but school had not started and there seemed to be so very much at stake. We were nameless, faceless, meaningless little undergraduates seeking our place in the sun. And we were newly married, each trusting our future so totally to the other, yet hardly aware of that at the time. I remember standing about halfway between the Maeser Building and the President's Home and being suddenly overwhelmed with the challenge I felt-- new family, new life, new education, no money and no confidence. I remember turning to Pat and holding her in the beauty of that August evening and fighting back the tears. I asked, "Do you think we can do it? Do you think we can compete with all these people in all these buildings who know so much more than we do and are so able? Do you think we've made a mistake?" Then I said, "Do you think we should withdraw and go home?"

As a brief tribute to her in what has been a very personal message anyway, I guess that was the first time I saw what I would see again and again in her-- the love, the confidence, the staying power, the reassurance, the careful handling of my fears, and the sensitive nurturing of my faith, especially faith in myself. She (who must have been terrified herself, especially now, linked to me for life) nevertheless set aside her own doubts, slammed shut the hatch on the airplane and grabbed me by the safety belt. "Of course we can do it," she said. "Of course we're not going home." Then, standing there, almost literally in the evening shadows of a home we would much later, for a time, call our own, she gently reminded me that surely others were feeling the same thing, that what we had in our hearts was enough to get us through, that our Father in Heaven would be helping

If you stand on the south patio of the President's Home you can see the exact spot two vulnerable, frightened, newly married BYU students stood twenty-two years ago, fighting back the tears and facing the future with all the faith they could summon
Some nights we stand and look out on that spot-- usually nights when things have been a little challenging-- and we remember those very special days. 

No greater blessings can come to your union than some of the troubles and challenges you'll face, if you you'll rev up your motor and bear straight ahead through lightning and thunder and turbulence and all."

I admire Elder Holland and Sister Holland. They are established, amazing individuals who have a beautiful marriage. Knowing that they started out as measly undergrads with no money and no confidence, shows me that with hard work and faith Isaac and I will be able to be successful. In this address, Elder Holland stated that nothing will bless mine and Isaac's lives more than struggling together and working together to overcome challenges. We will only grow closer because of these challenges.

Isaac and I don't have established careers. We're not sure where we will end up in the next couple years. We don't know if we will be able to travel. We will have to pinch pennies.

But nothing will make our marriage stronger than facing troubles and challenges hand in hand while relying on our Heavenly Father for help and guidance.

Why did I get married when I'm so young and poor?
Because I love Isaac, Isaac loves me, and we never want to be without each other.

6 comments

  1. Reading this melted my heart! He sounds like the perfect husband and I'm so glad you didn't let anyone stop you from doing what was right! Praying for a long, happy marriage for you two!

    Emma | Seeking the South

    ReplyDelete
  2. Charissa ThatcherJune 28, 2015 at 10:02 PM

    I love this! I got married at a young age too..19 to be exact and we had a lot of people ask us why we couldn't just wait until school was done. But you were so right when you said that we get to grow in our love together and endure these hard times to make us stronger! You guys are an adorable couple and I wish you all the luck!
    Charissa Thatcher
    misscharissalee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. yo I was 20 too. good age ;) I 1000% agree with this whole post. I think it's kind of silly to wait for certain milestones, like total financial security, to get married when you already have found the person you want to be with. like, waiting for kids, I totally get it, because kids are expensive. but being married doesn't cost anything more than being "dating".

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you!! You guys are adorable too, I've seen your pictures! :)

    ReplyDelete

© NINTH OF MAY. Design by Fearne.