CA wedding photos

This past Sunday was a rough one for me. I went to church and had a great lesson in Sunday School, but instead of feeling inspired and uplifted, it left me feeling very down on myself. It wasn't the teacher's fault at all. I just became very harsh with myself. I thought about the person I want to be and the things I want to do to become that person. In that moment, I felt like a complete failure.

After church, Isaac and I were snuggling on the couch and I just burst into tears. I let everything out. I told him how I want to be a better student...more studious, more attentive, more diligent. How I want to be a better friend...more thoughtful, more effort, more understanding. I told him how I want to be a better wife...more patient, more kind, more giving. How I want to be a better daughter of God...more obedient, more grateful, more aware of all that He has given me. I want to be all of these things.

 I felt completely hopeless and defeated. I thought...

our apartment is never spotless,
I'm not as emotionally invested in learning as I wish I could be,
gossip is a weakness for me, 
and so on.

Isaac hadn't said anything at this point, but I knew he had to leave soon to go visit a family he was in charge of teaching. He just said, "Have you heard President Uchtdorf's talk about the forget-me-not? You should read it, and when I come back, we'll talk about it." He left to go visit the family and I laid in our bed with my laptop watching the talk. President Uchtdorf started out by telling a story about the forget-me-not flower, and how he was going to teach five things to not ever forget, representing the five petals of the flower.

Right away he said, "Forget not to be patient with yourself. I want to tell you something that I hope you will take the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect."


Tears streamed down my face. At a time where I felt so inadequate, I was reminded of my Heavenly Father's love and awareness for me. There are so many things that resonated with me in that talk, and things that Isaac told me that brought me peace. However, I wish to keep those private and challenge whoever is reading this blog post to watch "Forget Me Not" by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, a representative and witness of Jesus Christ.

How grateful I am for Sundays. I truly cherish the time that I have to attend church, relax, and reflect. I know that what President Uchtdorf said is true. Our Heavenly Father IS aware of us, and we can see this through daily tender mercies. I know that He sent a Savior to suffer in the garden for our sins. Because of that, we have the chance to reflect and change. We can change and be the person we dream to be. In Philippians 4:13 it reads, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." He will help us change, maybe not all at once, but He will change us, if we ask for His guidance and help. This knowledge makes me feel extremely optimistic.